The cruel summer sun beat down on the parched land,
temporarily slowing down the pace of activity in the Maximum City of Mumbai.
The afternoons were particularly vicious as even the children chose to stay
indoors.
Nandini sat on her favorite rocking chair, the one in the
balcony, sipping her wine. All around her, the proud symbols of modern success
made their presence felt. The home loan would be paid off in a couple of years,
her daughter attended a fancy school & the car in the garage had the three
pointed star adorning the bonnet.
Across her lap lay a travel catalogue containing vivid
images of exotic locations in foreign lands. She couldn’t decide between the
Scandinavian countries & New Zealand. Both the places lured her with their
different charms and natural beauty. Planning this year’s holiday was a task
for which she definitely needed another drink!
She made her way to their well stacked bar to refill her
empty glass. It was then that she noticed a small cardboard box carelessly
thrown behind the bar. Perhaps Nitin had left the box there in his hurry to get
to the airport that morning. She knew her husband of 15 years well enough to
know what a tearing hurry he always gets into while traveling.
Even on their honeymoon they had almost missed their flight
because Nitin forgot something at home – his entire suitcase! Nandini couldn’t
wait to find out what he’d forgotten this time.
She opened the box to find it held a host of memorable items
for Nitin – his convocation photos, pictures of their wedding & their
honeymoon. A nostalgic smile spread across Nandini’s lips as she came across an
old picture of Nitin holding her in his arms. She wondered if he would be able
to achieve this feat now. After all, she wasn’t the dainty twenty-something in
that photograph anymore!
She also found a host of other items : the first book she
had ever gifted him (Yes Minister, an all time classic), the first letter she
had ever written to him & an old CD labelled “Baby Ayesha arrives”.
Suddenly her attention was drawn to a plain white envelope at the bottom of the
box. It was sealed with duct tape & signed by Nitin. There was no address
mentioned, only a date: 30th November, 2008.
After a short lived battle with her conscience, she tore
open the envelope only to find an old hand written note inside. She recognized
Nitin’s handwriting instantly.
“Today, Nandini has gone to Sanjana’s house to stay for a
few days. I know it’s only a 20 minute drive away but being without Nandini feels
weird. It’s almost as if I don’t know who I am without her. I do miss her &
I do love her. I feel horrible about what I’ve done but I’m never going to tell
her. This burden is mine to bear. And Sanjana’s of course. I can’t even imagine
what she’s going through right now. I’ll have to pull through. She’ll have to
as well. There’s simply no other way.
I’m glad Sanjana has Nandini by her side though. Sweet,
caring, loving Nandini who’s so excited about becoming a masi. Just last week she got four tees made. The two spelled “Mom”
& “Dad” were given to Sanjana & her husband, & the two labelled “Masa”
& “Masi” were put into our wardrobe. I’m supposed to wear my shirt when I go
to the hospital next week. Only thing is, I won’t be wearing the right one. I
should be wearing the one called “Dad”.
There’s no point trying to explain myself. There’s simply no
defending cheating on your wife with her sister. The last few months have been
sheer agony, as I have watched Nandini fret over Sanjanaa day in and day out. A
part of me wants to tell her the truth. But a bigger part of me wants to
protect her. Protect her from finding out what a scumbag I’ve been. I hope I’m
not too drunk to forget to destroy this letter later.”
Nandini felt the world slipping out from under her, like she
was a tiny immaterial speck blowing about in a storm. She couldn’t believe the
contents of the letter: her mind simply refused to accept its existence.
Everything she had worked so hard to create for herself and her family was
suddenly at stake.
She felt denial, regret, disappointment & rage along with
a whole gamut of emotions towards her husband and her sister. “How could they
do this to me?”, she asked herself repeatedly, a steady anger growing in her
with every passing moment.
Two of the people she loved and trusted the most had let her
down. Let her down in such a way that it seemed impossible for things to be the
way they were before. She just wanted to get away from all of them. She wanted
to get rid of the feeling that they were staring at her, their eyes part
sympathetic part mocking.
She began to pack her bags, dumping whatever she could find
into her suitcase hurriedly. She didn’t know where she was off to, all she knew
was that she couldn’t stand a minute more here. The air itself had become toxic
and suffocating. Just then her phone rang. ”Hello,” she said with as much calmness
as she could muster. “Hi mom, this is Ayesha here. All my friends are going to
Tina’s house now. Can I go too? I promise to be home before dinner. Please. Please,”
her twelve year old daughter begged.
“Sure beta, carry
on,” was all Nandini managed to say. “Thanks! You’re the best! ,” her excited
daughter exclaimed as she hung up.
Suddenly, Nandini realized that there was no walking away
from this, no going away. She could never do this to her little princess, never
inflict the pain of a divorce on her child. She would have to go on living like
nothing had happened, no matter how much it pained her. And for Arya she would
do it, a thousand times over.
She called her travel agent and told him, “3 tickets to New
Zealand please.”
Dear Reader – what would
you do in Nandini’s place? Food for thought eh? Do let me know!
